I think we often assume that change comes from the big moments.

The big decisions… the big shifts… those “take massive action” moments (which make me cringe to be honest).

Those points where everything feels clear and certain… and you finally decide to do something different.  Yay!!!!!!

And yes, those moments matter, but in my experience, that’s not really where your life changes.

It changes in the smaller, more consistent moments.

The ones that don’t always seem that significant at the time…

It’s in the conversations where you almost say something… but then you don’t and you hold yourself back instead.
The moment where you know what you need to do… but you hesitate and doubt yourself.
The time where something doesn’t feel quite right… but you go along with it anyway because it seems easier and you just want to keep the peace.

Those moments are easy to brush past because they don’t feel big enough to matter.

But they do.

Because those are the moments where something inside of you is asking you to step forward… and you either do… or you don’t.

And the thing is… most of the time, you actually know you’re doing it.

In those moments, you can feel it.

It’s not that you don’t have clarity – it’s just that something in you hesitates… and you just hold back.

Not always in a big obvious way… sometimes it’s barely noticeable.  But over time, those moments add up and they begin to shape the direction your life actually takes.

I’ve seen this so many times… and I’ve done it myself too.

And once I became aware of what I was doing – and I noticed that I STILL continued to do it – I used to cringe afterwards… because it always felt like I’d betrayed myself in that moment.

It’s not usually the big decisions that are the hardest to make.  It’s the smaller ones.

The ones where no one else is watching.
The ones where it would be easier to just stay as you are…

But those are the ones that matter most.

This is something I see quite deeply in the work I do with women inside Sanctuary.

Not in the big breakthrough moments… but in those quieter ones where they catch themselves and something shifts.

Where they choose something slightly different to what they used to.
Where they stay with what they know… and embody it instead of overriding it.

And that’s where things begin to change.

Not all at once… but steadily… in a way that finally holds.